Evil Ernie Crossroads
by rhinhart
Summary: An Evil Ernie story continuing from the last comic.  My first Fan Fiction and I may use it as a start for more Evil Ernie Stories


Evil Ernie - Crossroads

`Evil` Ernie Fairchild was lost, he had been ripped from his earth by a nuclear blast and now finds himself in on an earth where no one other than his ever present companion, Smiley has heard of him.

Since arriving on this earth Ernie has found himself limiting how he controls the dead, instead of sending them out on a blood thirst rampage he has only used them as a tool to help punish the wicked. He has lost all contact with love of his life, Lady Death and, after his meeting with Cassandra Hack he believes that the endless graveyard, Lady Death`s home has ceased to exist. There is also a chance that Ernie's decisions are being influenced by Lucifer.

After leaving San ta fey Ernie has been travelling around America trying to work out what to next until, four days ago when he came to a crossroads, as he approached the centre of the crossroads Ernie started to hear the thoughts of the dead crying out in distress and he has spent the last four days telepathically searching for the source of these cries. Ernie's concentration was broken when something hit him, as he looked down he saw a needle containing a yellow substance sticking out of his rib. As he looked the yellow liquid came out of the needle and started to react with the arcane energy that gave Ernie his powers and Ernie found that he was unable to move.

Five men came from behind Ernie, all of them dressed in camouflage outfits.

"This is what all the fuss is about; he was taken out with one dart"

"Check him but be careful, if the boss thinks he's dangerous then we gota' watch it."

As one of the assailants started to check Ernie's body his hand brushed against the badge on his jacket, as he went to move his hand away the badge seemed to move and a pain shot though his hand as if he had been bitten. The assailant swore and removed the badge to look at it. The badge was a round yellow face with two bones crossed on the edge, the mouth was formed into an evil smile.

"God look at this ugly looking thing" the assailant said as he held the badge in his hand.

"You aint' no rose garden bub."

The voice came from the badge the man holding it looked down at his hand. As he watched the badge moved, using the lower crossbones to stand up it winked at the man holding it, laughed and jumped back driving the pin on its clasp into the assailants hand, it then rolled off the hand and onto Ernie's jacket dislodging the dart as it landed. The injured assailant looked from the badge to his hand; he pushed one of his colleges away and ran off away from roads. Ernie managed to move his head slightly and looked down at the badge as it attached itself to his jacket.

"Thanks Smile I feel better already."

The remaining attackers moved towards Ernie and they each took an arm or a leg, the affects of the drug were still preventing Ernie from moving. Three more men approached, one of whom carried a tranquilizer gun. As he took aim at Ernie's prone body a strange rasping bird call came from the sky and a small bird fell towards the armed man and, as it fell to the height of the man's head it spread its wings, which were rotten and holey and flew into his face. Two more decaying birds fell down and attacked the gun man. His colleges ran towards him trying to swat the birds away.

"Hay boss are those yours" a puzzled Smiley asked.

"Nay button you know I don't do road kill"

As Ernie started to move a voice shouted over the fighting.

"Stay down if you want to keep your head" the voice was female and Ernie could hear that she was straining.

Ernie lay back as the sound of hooves grew closer. The shape of a deer passed over Ernie and something wet hit him in the face, Ernie wiped his face and found that he had been hit with a bit of deer gut. Looking over at the deer Ernie could see that, like the birds it was dead its face and side had been crushed and still had the imprint of car tires on it.

The girl moved towards Ernie she looked to be about eighteen.

"Hurry up; I can't keep them distracted for long"

As Ernie stood up the three of the armed men moved towards him.

"Where do you think you're going freak"

As they approached Ernie heard a crunch as the undead deer crushed the skull of the man with the tranquilizer gun. Ernie smiled.

"Too late"

Ernie raised his arm towards the corps, the green arcane energy flared up.

"Rise"

As Ernie spoke the corpses stood up.

"Kill" Ernie commanded

The corps moved towards his colleges and, as it reached the first of them it ripped him apart with its bare hands. At the same time the deer was charging at another man. The zombie finished off the first man it attacked and moved on to the next and the newly dead stood up and joined his undead college in attacking the living. One of the men ran, trying to get away from the massacre, Ernie grabbed him by his throat, dug his bone fingers through his flesh and pulled his windpipe out, the man reanimated before he even hit the ground.

"Just like old times hay boss" Smiley quipped

The fight was over in less than ten minutes and Ernie and his new zombies stood facing the girl with the dead deer and birds.

"Who are you" Ernie asked

"What's with the attitude dude, I did just save you"

She walked forward and looked at the zombies.

"Impressive, I've never been able to a human. That's about my limit" She pointed to the deer.

Ernie reached into his pocket and took out a spinning top with eight numbers on it, he placed it on his hand and spun it, and it landed on six. Ernie raised his hand and all the zombies dropped to the ground.

"What was that about?" The girl asked.

"The boss thinks that the devil may be trying to control his decisions so he's adding the element of chance to his actions" Smiley explained.

The girl stood, thinking for a minute playing with one of her black pigtails as she did so.

"Maybe we can help each other" she paused and then gestured to the corpses "They are from the Grendel Academy and they have taken my brother. They seem to be collecting magic users and supernatural creators like you." She paused and gave Ernie a smile "My brother is a demonologist, he should be able to tell if there is any demonic influence on you and what you can do about it"

"Seems a bit convenient, you showing up with a solution to my problem"

"Grendel are after you, it would be in your interest to take the fight to them. But suite yourself"

With that the girl turned and started to walk down the road. As she moved away the birds and deer fell to the ground, dead.

"She does have a nice ass boss, it would be a shame to let that go" Smiley said.

Ernie grunted and spun the top again.

"Wait up" he shouted after her as he started to move down the road towards her. She stopped and turned to wait for him. As he got closer Ernie suddenly stopped and spun the top again, when it stopped he turned and looked at the corpses'.

"Dead onez rise" he commanded, he looked towards the girl "Just in case any of their friends come looking for the"

Ernie carried on forwards towards the girl.

"Nice touch" she said "By the way the names Chrystal"

Ernie just grunted leaving the introductions to Smiley. As Chrystal, Smiley and Ernie headed along the road towards the next town Ernie couldn't help but notice they were heading towards the dead he had heard earlier.


End file.
